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Minium: ODU Linebacker Wayne Matthews III Used Grief From His Sister's Death To Fuel a Dramatic Turnaround

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Keith Lucas/SIDELINE MEDIA

CHARLOTTE, N.C. – The pain began in the early morning hours of July 23, 2022. He couldn't quite place where it was coming from, but Wayne Matthews III knew he was hurting deep inside his body. 

"I couldn't sleep. I didn't know what it was, but knew something was wrong," he said. 

Something indeed was terribly wrong. Some 200 miles to the north, his 31-year-old sister, LaQuaya Alicia Matthews, was fighting for her life. She had been an automobile crash and was in critical conditioj. 

She lost her fight shortly after 5 a.m. Matthews was still wide awake, lying in bed, the pit in his stomach becoming ever more painful, when the phone call he was dreading finally came at 5:55 a.m.

His mother and his youngest sister were on the phone, crying and saying over and over, that his older sister had died. 

"They kept saying my sister had passed and I wondered, 'Who are they talking about?' " he said. 

When it finally dawned on him they were talking about LaQuaya, he screamed in agony, a cry heard by some of his Old Dominion football teammates, who came to his aid. 

Wayne and LaQuaya are among the five children of Wayne Matthews and Yolanda West, and while she was a decade older than him, he said they were closely connected. 

"People say when you have a twin, you feel what they feel," he said. "I felt that. I felt what she was feeling. When she passed, I felt like I lost a piece of me.

"My siblings, we're all so close. It's crazy. It's crazy to think about it that way. But I know what I was feeling." 

Matthews is still grieving his sister's death and says while the pain has lessened,  it remains intense. But in the immediate aftermath, he vowed something good would come from losing her. 

"It made me look at all aspects of my life in a different way," he said. "I don't take anything for granted anymore.

"I finish every rep that I have on the football field. I take advantage of every moment in the classroom. I don't want to take anything for granted in life because it can all be taken away from me in an instant. Losing her, it changed my entire view of life." 

And it shows in so many ways. The 6-foot-2, 220-pound redshirt sophomore linebacker from Largo, Maryland was a pretty good special teams player last year as a redshirt freshman.  

But Matthews dedicated himself to being the best player he could possibly be in the off season, and as a result, he is likely ODU's  most improved player. 

Even though he played next to Jason Henderson, the All-American linebacker who leads he nation in tackles, Matthews has racked up 121 total tackles, second in the Sun Belt and 14th among all FBS tacklers. He also has 2 ½ sacks and 8 ½ tackles for a loss and was named a third-team All-Sun Belt choice.


LaQuaya Alicia Matthews

Defensive lineman Kris Trinidad said that Matthews has always been a dedicated athlete, but that everyone noticed the difference after he lost his sister.

"He's so much better than he was, way better," Trinidad said. "He made such a tremendous upgrade.

"He did it through hard work. He's so focused, He's always locked in. And he's a leader." 

Matthews came up big when ODU needed it most , a 25-24 victory over Georgia State that clinched ODU a bowl bid, with a career-high 16 tackles.  

With Henderson out with a season-ending injury, Matthews will lead ODU's defense as the Monarchs take on Western Kentucky Monday at 2:30 in the Famous Toastery Bowl. 

"Wayne has taken on a bigger role this week in practice," defensive coordinator Blake Seiler said. "He's stepped up in a big way." 

Seiler said he's never seen a player deal with such a major tragedy with such courage. 

"I couldn't believe how he handled it," Seiler said. "I would have been hysterical if it was me. I've never been through anything like this, when somebody so young has had to deal with something so tragic. There were a lot of tears shed, but he's been stalwart. For such a young guy he's shown such immense maturity."  

Matthews spoke plainly and frankly about his sister's passing during a recent interview until he couldn't. Eventually, while explaining details of the automobile accident, he broke down into tears, and had to stop talking for a few minutes. 

He said the suddenness of her passing, and the fact that he didn't have a chance to say goodbye still gnaws at him. So does the fact that she left four children behind. 

"Two of my nieces and two of my nephews," he said between tears. 

Fortunately, he comes from a strong family that has a deep Christian faith. He and his four siblings were raised in a two-parent household in Prince Georges County, Maryland. He lived just down the street from his grandparents and often spent time with them. 

"We're really tight," he said. "We've been there for each other. This has been so hard on my parents. She was their first daughter. I can't imagine how difficult it is to lose a child. They've been amazing under the circumstances." 

Wayne Matthews is likely ODU's most improved player.

His teammates have been a huge source of support. Cornerback Jalen McCain and offensive lineman Santana Saunders, who played with Matthews at Charles Herbert Flowers High School, drove him home on July 23rd and stayed with him for several days. 

It was while he was home, visiting family, that he vowed to change his life. 

"I've used this tragedy as fuel," he said. "I will never take life for granted. Always cherish your loved ones because you never know when you're going to lose them." 

He said the entire ODU athletic community embraced him when he returned. He was offered counseling from ODU's athletic psychological counseling staff and took advantage of it. 

"It helped to pour my heart out, to get some things off my chest," he said. "She (his therapist) just listened to what I was saying and gave me the floor to just talk about. At that moment, I needed that. I'm very thankful for that." 

He said he held things together largely because of his teammates. 

"I had my teammates comforting me," he said.  "I had coach Seiler and (head) coach (Ricky) Rahne comforting me. If I needed someone to talk to, I always had someone to talk to." 

He especially leaned on McCain, his former high school teammate. "He's my guy," Matthews said. "He's always been by my side. If he's going through something he knows I'm there for him and he was there for me when I lost my sister. He let me know I could cry on his shoulder if I needed to, and he meant that literally. 

"My girlfriend (Mikaila Ball) gave me a shoulder to cry on. She had me pour my heart out to her almost like a therapist.  

"When I left Maryland, I was leaving my family. But I also knew I was coming back to another family that loved me."

While Matthews has turned a new leaf over on the field, academically he's always been strong. He majors in occupational technical studies, a field related to mechanical engineering, and is well on his way toward earning his degree. 

"My dad, he's a hands-on guy and I learned to love doing things with my hands, like fixing the plumbing. I love physical labor." 

LaQuaya Alicia Matthews

Kaitlyn Gatsby, who teams with Sarah Walker as academic advisers to ODU football, said Matthews attends football study hall almost daily even though he is not required to be there. If you are required to attend study hall, it usually means you've been slacking in class. 

"He really wants to do well," she said. "He has a great work ethic. He really cares about school, cares about his academics. He spends a lot of time talking to the younger guys, trying to explain to them how important it is to do your school work. He's kind of a natural leader." 

In each of 12 games this season, Matthews has followed the same pre-game ritual. Before heading out for pre-game warmups, he writes his sister's initials on his wrist tape. When he heads out of the tunnel, he holds the tape up to the sky and then heads for the opposite end zone, where he and dozens of his ODU teammates kneel and pray. 

"Things are going to happen in life that you don't understand, that are going to cause pain," Seiler said. "Faith gives you something you can fall back on. I think that's been a lot of comfort to Wayne." 

Matthews said he always prays for his sister in the end zone and that doing so lifts a burden from his shoulders.  

"It comforts me because I know God is always with me, always walking with me," he said. "If I'm feeling down, I can always pray and know that he will answer my prayers when they need to be answered.  

"I'm a family guy and was raised a Christian. I knew coach Seiler is a man of faith and is a big family guy. All of the coaches are. 

"I felt like if I came here that I would be with good people, that I would be taken care of." 

And he has been, even in his darkest hour.

Minium is ODU's senior executive writer for athletics. Contact him at hminium@odu.edu or follow him on TwitterFacebook or Instagram