By Harry Minium
Ethan Duane said a tearful farewell to his family in Melbourne, Australia in January of 2020, boarded a plane and headed to America to play football for Old Dominion.
It was a dream come true for the Australian Rules Football and rugby player, who trained for nearly a year in the ProKick Australia program to learn to punt a football, American style. His reward was a full scholarship to play college football in the United States.
But little did he know that a pandemic would strike and shut down much of the world and thus deny him the chance to see his family for nearly two years, and who knows how much longer.
Duane hasn't seen his family in 20 months and given the strict shutdowns Australia recently imposed, he doesn't know when he will be able to see them again.
Since the pandemic began, Australia has adopted more drastic measures than most countries, especially on travel, to limit the spread of COVID.
ODU Coach Ricky Rahne, a family-first kind of guy, said he can't imagine what Duane has gone through.
"He hasn't seen his family in over 20 months," he said. "That's a horrifying proposition. I almost freaked out because I didn't get to see my kids for 12 days a couple of months ago.
"Talk about making sacrifices. I can't imagine how tough that's been for him."
It's been very tough, Duane said.
"I've got three little sisters and my parents back home," he said. His sisters are Piper, 18; Remy, 16; and 13-year-old Maya, and if you were a young teenager with a big brother, you know they miss him terribly.
"Thanks to technology, to Facetime, I get to talk to them every day," he said. "But it's not the same.
"It's been very hard."
It would have been a lot tougher were it not for the thoughtfulness and kindness of Lori Wellbaum Emery and her son, ODU quarterback Hayden Wolff, and their extended family.
When ODU's players were told to go home indefinitely in March of 2020, Wolff called his Mom.
"Hayden said to me, Mom, we've got this Australian punter, and he's stuck and has nowhere to go and I was wondering if he could stay with us,' " Emery said.
Before he finished talking, she said yes, bring him home with you.
She says she's always told Hayden and his brother, Weston, if you ever have a friend who needs a place to stay, "there's an open door in my house."
Duane stayed in Emery's home for much of the next five months and by the time he returned to ODU in August of 2020, he was a member of the family. Hayden and brother Weston, a tight end at Maryland, now introduce them as their brother.
This being the era of blended families, Duane ended up spending time in three homes. Jim Wolff, Hayden's father, and stepmom Anaila Wolff, also welcomed Duane into their home.
So did the parents of Hayden Wolff's long-time girlfriend, Sophie Fraser, Jeff Fraser and Betsy Steiner-Fraser.
"Ethan has his own room at my girlfriend's house," Hayden Wolff said. "This has definitely been a group effort."
When the team goes on break, Duane always goes home with Wolff.
"He's my adopted son," said Emery, an attorney in Englewood, Florida, located on the Gulf Coast just south of Sarasota.
Lori Emery and Ethan Duane
"He's the exchange student that I got to choose.
"I just enjoy him so much. He calls me 'Mum.' When he was here at Christmas, he got the same gifts as everyone else, he got his own stocking. He's 100 percent a part of my family."
Duane said that he's "been very lucky that Hayden Wolff and his family opened up their home and lives to me. They completely changed my life through the Covid period and eased me being homesick.
"They are family to me now."
ODU placekicker Dominik Soos knows what Duane is going through. The Budapest, Hungary native moved to California as an exchange student to play high school soccer. He was recruited to become the football team's placekicker as a senior, and then played two seasons of junior college football.
He joined ODU last spring. While he regularly went home while in high school and junior college, the pandemic forced him to stay in America for 18 months. He was finally able to return in May for a joyful, three-week visit.
"It was so awesome," Soos said. "It was so nice to see my grandparents and parents. They're not getting any younger.
"I understand what Ethan is going through. It's very difficult for him, especially not knowing when he'll be able to get back."
Soos said his second family in America has been the ODU team and coaches. Rahne has built a culture of caring for each other – Care, Compete, Character is the team's motto. And Soos and Duane said that's not just coach-speak. It's been an important factor that's kept them grounded
Ethan Duane and Dominik Soos
"We've got a very nice little community here, a great little family," Duane said. "Every member of this team, from the staff to the athletic trainers to the coaches, has reached out to us.
"They've taken us into their homes to make sure we're looked after.
"That's the culture we're building here. It's a family."
When Duane celebrated his 21st birthday on Aug. 16, the entire team celebrated by going to dinner at Apex Entertainment Center and Restaurant in at Town Center in Virginia Beach.
"We wanted to do something nice for Ethan on his birthday," Rahne said.
Special teams players – kickers, punters, long snappers and holders – usually develop a tight bond. B.R. Hatcher, ODU's long snapper from Jefferson, South Carolina, said he often complained about the 5 ½-hour drive home to see his family.
But no longer.
"I feel very fortunate," he said. "It's eye-opening that this man hasn't been able to lay eyes on his sisters, on his family, for going on two years now.
"I feel for him and for his family and it makes me really grateful that I am able to see my family."
Duane, Soos, Hatcher and Wolff are all roommates, and it's quite a mixture of cultures. Although Australians speak English, it's not American English. And Soos' English, while quite good now, wasn't as good when he first arrived at ODU.
"Ethan and I understood each other the first time we met," Hatcher said. "But with Dom? The first week the only words we exchanged were 'huh?' "
American football was a foreign concept to Duane until he was approached by Nathan Chandler of ProKick Australia, an organization that recruits Aussies with strong legs and teaches them how to kick and earn scholarships to American colleges.
ProKick's success is legendary. Duane was among more than a dozen Australian punters and kickers who signed with FBS schools in December of 2019.
ProKick has sent more than 100 players to America, including 17 who have been named All-Americans, and generated more than $19 million in college football scholarships for Aussies.
Duane has clearly put in the work. His right leg looks like a tree stump. His right thigh measures 28 inches, which is what my waist measured when I was in high school. It's two inches bigger than his left thigh.
"We're expecting great things from Ethan this season," Rahne said.
Duane punted well in ODU's scrimmage Saturday night, with his first kick carrying 48 yards.
Ethan Duane punting in practice
Yet he has zero experience in an American football game, or any game in front of a large crowd.
ODU opens its season Friday, Sept. 3, at Wake Forest's Truist Field, which seats 31,500, and the game will be televised nationally on the ACC Network.
"I can't wait," Duane said. "The nerves haven't hit me yet."
Fortunately, he said his family will be able to watch ODU's games this season – ESPN's family of networks, which televises most Monarch games, is available Down Under.
"I'll be playing for them," he said.
Emery said that Duane has had some ups and downs.
"There have definitely been times when he was with us when he looked very sad and was just quiet by himself," she said.
"When he's sad, we let him have his time."
Duane's mother, Kirsten, and father, Scott, as well as his three sisters, have also become close with Wolff's family.
"We've gotten to know his family very well through Facetime," Emery said. "They're so grateful and thankful. During holidays and birthdays, we include them as much as we can.
"The three sisters, when they talk to him, they want to talk to me, to Sophie, Hayden's girlfriend, to all of us.
"Ethan is such a great kid. He's the first one to jump up and help with the dishes. He's fiercely loyal. He's the first to ask, 'do you need something?'
"And if someone is rude to me, that doesn't sit well with him."
When she recently moved into a new condominium, "Ethan never sat down the entire day until I was completely unpacked," Emery said.
"I can't say enough about how much Ethan has increased the value of our lives. He's such a great kid. I tell his parents, when they tell us they don't know how to repay us, don't worry, we know how.
"We're all coming to Australia."
When Duane's mother recently turned 50, Emery and family and Duane called her on Facetime while they were eating dinner in a restaurant.
"Everyone in the restaurant all joined in when we sang happy birthday," Emery said.
"When Ethan handed the phone to me, she was balling."
On Duane's 21st birthday, Emery posted a happy birthday message on Facebook that drew responses from his family in Australia and new family in America.
His response says it all.
"Thanks Mum."
Minium was twice nominated for the Pulitzer Prize in his 39 years at The Virginian-Pilot and won 27 state and national writing awards. He covers all ODU athletics for odusports.com Follow him on Twitter @Harry_MiniumODU, Instagram @hbminium1 or email hminium@odu.edu
Minium: The Family of ODU Quarterback Hayden Wolff Has 'Adopted' Australian Punter Ethan Duane
