NORFOLK, Va. – Al Bodie Young was just 47, and a former college football and track star who kept himself in pretty good shape. He was an active guy who liked to hike and fish around his hometown of North Augusta, South Carolina.
So, his wife, Lloydette Young, thought nothing of it when Al excused himself from the 50th wedding anniversary party they were throwing for his parents. He said he was tired and wanted to rest for a while. It was nearly midnight and they had worked for hours, cooking decorating and entertaining.
When she and her daughter, Amari Young, drove across the street to their home, she found Al resting in bed.
Lloydette walked into their bedroom, told her husband she loved him, asked him if he needed anything. He said no and she reached down and kissed him and left.
But as she reached the door, she turned and saw him grab his chest and struggle to say something. He couldn't get the words out and was clearly in pain. She quickly realized that her husband was having a heart attack.
She asked Amari to call paramedics and to go across the street to get her grandparents while she did CPR on her husband. When Al's father, Al L. Young, arrived, he took and his brother, Andrew Young, over for her and continued CPR while Lloydette went upstairs and prayed.
Lloydette is a devout Christian and says that not all prayers are answered in the way we always want them to be. And that was the case this night, just two days before Christmas.
"The paramedics worked on him for 45 minutes," Lloydette said. "But he never responded."
Al Young's death reverberated nearly 500 miles north all the way to Old Dominion University, where Amari Young is the best player on the women's basketball team. Her coaches, teammates and even ODU alumni have grieved with her and offered her support.
And Thursday night, when the Monarchs host Appalachian State at 6:30, those emotions will bubble back up for everyone. The game is ODU's Senior Night, and Al Young would have been there with Lloydette to hand their daughter flowers and walk onto the court with her.
"I know my Daddy is going to be looking down and I know he will be so proud," Amari said. "I just wish he was here physically."
Amari has not yet fully recovered from her father's death, nor from the experience of watching her mother do CPR on her father. In some ways, Amari and Lloydette remain in shock.
"She's up and down," Amari said, when asked about her mom. "She has good days, but she's also struggling."
Lloydette still worries about her daughter, who she says has also been up and down, as well as her other children, Dexter Simmons, Amir Young and Shaneca Middleton.
"They seem to be coping OK, but everyone grieves differently," Lloydette said. "I think our daughters are handling it a little better than our sons. Amari has been strong but she has had her moments."
After Al passed, Lloydette slept with Amari in her room until she departed for ODU in early January. She still has not returned to the bed where her husband died.
"I'm just not ready," she said.
Valentine's Day earlier this week was hard on everyone in the family.
"Amari called me and said, 'Daddy would have sent me something to my dorm room on Valentine's Day'," Lloydette said. They both cried and tried to console each other.
Amari says her Christian faith has kept her sane.
"Holding onto my faith is something that's gotten me through this," she said.
"We don't understand now why certain things happen to us. But I know God doesn't make any mistakes."
She said she believes her father passed when he did because she and other family members were home for Christmas.
"God probably walked me home during that time so I could see my Daddy one last time."
This been Amari's worst battle with adversity at ODU but far from the first. She was among the best players on the 2019-2020 team that was 24-6 heading into the Conference USA Tournament in Frisco, Texas.
"We felt like we had a championship team," she said. "We felt like we had a very good chance to win a championship and go to the NCAA Tournament."
Likely true, given from what I saw of the Monarchs. But we'll never know. As ODU players were gathering their uniforms and preparing to depart from their hotel to the arena, they learned all conference tournaments, as well as the NCAA Tournament, had been canceled because of the pandemic.
As it dawned on them their season was over, tears flowed freely.
COVID was spreading across the globe and it would have an impact on all ODU athletes for nearly two years.
The players flew to their respective homes the next day and as ODU shut its doors and classes went online, teammates were isolated from each other for nearly six months. While away from ODU, they learned head coach Nikki McCray had left for Mississippi State.
Shortly thereafter, ODU hired former WNBA star and Olympic gold medalist DeLisha Milton-Jones as head coach.
In 2020-21, the Monarchs returned to campus but isolated as a team to avoid the pandemic. Other than going to the grocery store, they were isolated from everyone but their teammates and played home games with fans limited to 250 per game.
"That was a very difficult time," Amari said. "It was sad and heartbreaking."
Amari's teammates are aware of the pain she's been through.
"We've dedicated this season to Amari," said sophomore guard Kaylen Nelson. "We are trying to win the Sun Belt Conference and trying to go dancing for Amari.
"She deserves a championship."
Al and Lloydette married in 2000 and settled in their hometown of North Augusta, a city of about 21,000 people nestled on the South Carolina-Georgia border. The larger and more famous Augusta, Georgia, home of the Masters golf tournament, lies on over the side of the Augusta River.
Both were church-going Christians and educators. Al was a teacher and Career, Technical and Adult Education coordinator. Lloydette was a teacher, principal and more recently became a literacy specialist who is trying to help children who fell behind in their classwork during the pandemic.
"Really, my whole family is in education," Amari said. "My grandma was my keyboarding teacher in middle school and then when I got to high school, my granddaddy was my basketball coach."
Al was something of a renaissance man. He read extensively and was equally comfortable with a room full of farmers or one full of business executives. He had a big personality and could converse with anyone about anything.
"He was the smartest man I ever knew," Amari said. "Name a subject, anything, and he knew at least a little about it."
He was an expert cook who sometimes prepared meals for Amari and her teammates. He loved to cater events and often led bible study groups.
Most especially, he loved spending time with his children.
"He and Amari were very close," Lloydette said. "She would go kayaking with him. She would go fishing and hunting with him. They would take target practice together.
"She did things with him you wouldn't think a young lady would do.
"And if he cooked, she would try it. She would call him when she was cooking for her teammates and ask how to make something. He would be on Facetime giving her help while she cooked."
He taught his children to love by loving Lloydette unconditionally.
"He made everything better," Lloydette said. "I didn't just love my husband. I liked him, liked being around him and liked what he stood for, his principles and values."
The Youngs had four children – two boys and two girls – and from an early age, they followed the lesson that Jesus preached in Matthew: 25:40 – "Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me."
Al and Lloydette often read that passage to their kids, who began doing community service in elementary school. The kids worked as camp counselors, helped clean litter out of canals, and volunteered at food banks, and that work continued through high school.
?
"We were always out in the community doing things," Amari said. "My grandma really got that message through to us, that we have to give back."
Amari describes her childhood as nearly perfect.
She was a bit of a tomboy and when she was young, would play basketball with the boys in the street. When her grandmother, Jacqueline Young would drive by, Amair would run into the house to hide and then return when the coast was clear.
"She didn't want me playing with the boys," Amari said with a smile.
That didn't stop Amari from becoming a great athlete. She was a track and field star, and also played soccver, but excelled in basketball, where she led North Augusta High School to two state championships and was named South Carolina's Gatorade Player of the Year as a senior.
Clemson wanted her, but asked her to attend their elite camp first, something Amari didn't want to do. She was days away from committing to East Carolina when her AAU coach suggested she visit ODU.
McCray had been on the South Carolina staff that had just won the national championship, and Amari was blown away not just by her presentation, but also by the camaraderie on the team. She was also taken by ODU – Chartway Arena and the Mitchum Basketball Performance Center were far superior than facilites at the other schools recruiting her.
"I loved the campus and the people here," she said. "I still do."
Young was an instant success at ODU, averaging nearly nine points and six rebounds per game as a freshman. As a fifth-year senior, she is often the best athlete and most aggressive player on the court. She excels on defense and when the Monarchs really need a point, they give the ball to Amari.
Amari ranks 18th among ODU career scorers with 1,466 points, and figures to break into the top 15 before the season ends. She is seventh in career rebounders with 1,094.
She she admits she had a slight advantage against those who came before her – the NCAA granted all athletes a fifth year of eligibility because of the pandemic.
Her 143 games played set a school record.
Regardless, Milton-Jones said she ranks among ODU's best all-time players.
"She can guard your man and hers at the same time," Milton-Jones said. "I've never seen someone do that. She's a special, a special generational-type player and she makes us go.
"She is the centerpiece of everything we do. We build off of her. All her teammates recognize that and how special she is. She's the one who butters our bread."
When Milton-Jones informed Amari's teammates about her father's death, it was a real blow, and that was apparent in their first two Sun Belt Conference games in late December, when they lost at Appalachian State, 81-56, and James Madison 68-54.
It wasn't just Amari's physical absence that led to the lopsided defeats. It was their pain in knowing what she was going through.
"I love Amari," Nelson said. "To hear she lost her father, it broke us.
"We knew in the long run we couldn't be defeated by this. We had to rally around her and show her love and try out hardest to play for her."
Amari returned for ODU's Sun Belt home opener against Louisiana-Monroe on Jan. 5, and it's no coincidence that the Monarchs have won 10 of 12 games since, including a 63-49 blowout win over ULM.
Amari acknowledges her thoughts were elsewhere that first game back. She was two rebounds away from corralling 1,000 for her career. Al Young sent her a text after each game counting down her run to 1,000.
Lloydette was watcing on TV while her daughter's face filled with emotion after she gathered in the rebound. She looked skyward and said "We got it Daddy, we got it."
"He always texted or called me before every game and told me he loved me and to be aggressive," Amari said. "And that night, for the first time, I didn't hear from him."
Understandably, Amari did not come to the interview room after such an emotional game. Teammate Makayla Dickens was in front of the mic, and her emotions were apparent.
"I think you can tell not just from her numbers but from her personality who she is as a person," she said. "She's a great person and hearing the news definitely affected us.
"Nobody should have to go through what Amari went through. Nobody."
By then, Dickens was sheddeing tears and excused herself from the press conference.
Amari plays her last two home games this week – the Monarchs host JMU on Saturday at 2 – and says she can't quite believe her college career is coming to an end.
Curiously, the last two games come against the teams that defeated ODU in December when she was home in South Carolina with her family.
"We're looking forward to playing Appalachian Stater and JMU at full strength and with our minds focused on the game," Milton-Jones said.
Amari has had plenty of chances to leave since the transfer portal became a thing, but loyalty was one of the many lessons her parents taught her.
"I really love this city, I really love ODU," she said. "Coach D wasn't the coach who recruited me, but I believed in her vision. I really felt comfortable here."
The outpouring of support from teammates and former Monarchs touched her heart, she said.
Former ODU stars, including Nancy Lieberman, Clarisse Machanguana and Hamchetou Maiga-Ba called to offer support and talked to her about losing their fathers.
"It felt so good to hear from them, to have someone to relate to, because a lot of people can talk about this, but if you have experienced it, you can really relate to it.
"Right after it happened, my teammates began to text me and offer support."
Amari Young and coach Delisha Milton-Jones in the Superdome at Sun Belt media day
When she returned from North Augusta, her teammates gave her flowers and a card and told her if she ever needs help, call on them.
"All of that proves that this is a sisterhood," she said. "I'm here without family so it means a lot that I can lean on them."
Milton-Jones said Amari could have a long and lucrative career playing basketball in
Europe, but for now, that's off the table.
"I feel like I've been away from home for five years," Amari said. "So, I'm like, if I go to another country, then I'll really be far away."
Amari has graduated from ODU with a degree in therapeutic recreation and is working on a Master's degree in public administration. If she indeed goes into therapeutic recreation, she will be adhering to the "least of me" quote from Jesus.
Her major prepared her to work with people who have disabilities. She especially loves working with children, and this past summer, did an internship with the Hampton Recreation Department.
"It was definitely eye-opening but also rewarding," she said. "I've worked with kids with autism before but never to the degree I saw in that setting.
"I got to meet a lot of cool kids. The kids, they really loved me. It was fun but stressful and I really enjoyed it.
"I think that would be a rewarding career."
One that would make Al Young a very proud father.
Contact Minium at hminium@odu.edu or follow him on Twitter, Facebook or Instagram
Minium: ODU Women's Basketball Wants to Win Sun Belt Championship for Grieving Teammate Amari Young
