Minium: Ted Alexander, Voice of ODU, Is Back Behind The Mic After The Worst Three Months of His Life
Alexander was at his wife's side the last three months as she succumbed to cancer.
By Harry Minium
NORFOLK, Va. – It had been three months, the hardest, most painful and heartbreaking three months in his life, since Ted Alexander had been behind a microphone.
He sat with Andy Mashaw, the lead broadcaster for Old Dominion’s baseball game against Norfolk State last Tuesday, until the clock struck 3, and then Mashaw said it all in his introduction.
“I’m Andy Mashaw and let’s get this out of the way first. Back in the booth, the conn has been held, the seat has been kept warm, but the real captain is back on the bridge. Alongside Ted Alexander, welcome back sir.”
“It’s good to be back on a sun shiny day,” Alexander said in that confident, smooth voice so familiar to all of Monarch Nation.
Alexander has been the voice of ODU men’s basketball since 2007 and football since the Monarchs began playing in 2009 and has worked full-time at ODU since 2011.
Alexander is to ODU fans what Virginia Sports Hall of Famer Bill Roth is to Virginia Tech football followers – a familiar, steady presence who can be likeable and at times critical and has the intellect and courage to tell things as they are.
He also has an awesome, at times ironic, sense of humor.
Alexander’s last previous broadcast at ODU came on January 6th, when he hosted the ODU men’s and women’s basketball coaches show. He then drove to his family home just outside of Fredericksburg, and for the next three months, cared for Laurie, his wife of 36 years.
Laurie fought courageously to beat the cancer that had spread all over her body. But she succumbed on March 15.
She died peacefully in her sleep.
Unless you saw or heard of a social media post from Alexander two weeks ago, you likely weren’t aware of where he has been.
“My daughters, Amanda and Natalie, and I are hurting,” he said online. “But we’re hanging in there one day at a time.
“We know Laurie is in a better place. We know she’s at peace and we know she’s no longer in pain.”
The story of how Ted Alexander and the former Laurie Rostosky met, were married and lived their lives could be a Hollywood movie. It’s an incredible love story.
They met in 1984 while working for a radio station in Morgantown, West Virginia. Ted was instantly smitten.
“She was the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen,” he said.
They were married four years later and continued to both work until 1997, when Amanda was born. They made the decision then that Laurie would become a full-time Mom.
Laurie idolized her mother, Helen, who died of leukemia in 1992 when she was just 59. Laurie wanted to be the same kind of mother to her daughters that Helen was to her.
But there was more to it than that. Her husband was a sports broadcaster, and that meant long days and long nights of work and many weekends when he was away.
Her kids needed a full-time Mom.
Laurie took on many of the chores often done by husbands, as described in her online obituary, which was in large part written by Ted.
“Paint all of the rooms? Not a problem. Re-do landscaping? Let’s go.
“She realized the importance of connecting with her girls. Teaching, listening, loving and adapting were all necessary to give Amanda and Natalie the best chance for success.
“It wasn’t easy. Raising strong-willed women is a true challenge.”
But she was up to the task. Natalie earned a doctorate in physical therapy from ODU and practices in Arlington, Virginia. Amanda, who graduated from Southern Cal, is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in Virginia Beach.
“We sacrificed so that Laurie could stay home,” Ted said. “We didn’t take a lot of vacations. We didn’t have a lot of dinners out. But we always had a nice home to live in.
“That was where she felt safe. She was such a wonderful mother and loved it.”
In 2010, Laurie was diagnosed with breast cancer. Surgery, chemo and radiation seemed at first to cure her, but five years later, the disease came back.
Five years ago, Ted and Laurie purchased a house on a lake just outside of Fredericksburg that was two doors down from her sister’s house.
“She called it her healing house,” Ted said.
It was where she would battle cancer and continue to nurture her husband and her daughters.
While he is director of broadcasting for ODU, Ted actually works for Playfly Sports, an organization affiliated with ODU that handles broadcasting, sponsorships and advertising for the Monarch athletics program.
David Jones, who manages Playfly Sports at ODU, was generous in allowing Ted time off while his wife fought cancer. Then, three months ago, Ted asked for a leave of absence.
Dr. Wood Selig, ODU’s director of athletics, said it was Jones’ decision but was pleased when he told Ted to take all the time he needed.
“Laurie felt bad about me taking a leave of absence because she knows, this is what I do, and that I love what I do,” Ted said. “But I told her if you ever need me, raise your hand and let me know.”
A few days into the New Year, she raised her hand.
“It’s become too hard for me to get to me appointments and take care of myself,” she told him.
Jones didn’t hesitate to say yes when Ted asked for a leave of absence, even though it came during the heart of the men’s basketball season.
“Our initial thoughts were one of empathy for Ted’s circumstances and support for him being with his wife and family during this difficult time,” Jones said. “We knew it would be some big shoes to fill because Ted is not only the voice of the Monarchs, he is also the face of ODU athletics.
“But we supported Ted’s priority of keeping his family first.”
Ted talked with Dr. Selig, who echoed Jones’ comments.
“The worst thing for Ted, whatever decision he made, would have been to look back one day and regret his decision,” Dr. Selig said.
“And I don’t think he’ll ever regret missing three months of a basketball season vs. spending last three months of his wife’s life together with her."
“The way David and Wood handled this was just awesome,” Ted added. “It gave me the peace of mind that I was doing the right thing, and the world was going to continue on its axis, and everything was going to be fine.”
Jones and Selig checked in on Ted routinely. One day, while he was driving Laurie to an appointment, he put them on speaker phone.
“They didn’t know they were on speaker phone,” he said. “She heard them saying, ‘You do what you have to do. Family always comes first. Take care of things there. What’s going on there is far more important than anything going on here.’
“When she heard that, it made her all that much more comfortable about the whole thing. It made her feel better. And it made me feel better.”
Cancer, as most of you know, is an awful disease, and in her final months, Laurie was in a lot of pain. Yet she fought on, seeking out alternative treatments, even as her body deteriorated.
“She wanted more time,” Ted said. “She hoped to get back to an active lifestyle.
“I told her a number of times that I would have quit years ago. She just wanted to be there for the girls, that was her motivation, and she did it. You know, the girls are up and running. They’re in stable relationships and they have their careers going.
“They are her legacy. She always wanted two girls and she got that and turned them into wonderful young women.”
But even the strongest among us have our limits.
“When she realized that the best she was going to get out of this was less than she wanted, that’s when she started thinking, ‘You know what? I don’t know about this.’”
She hated hospitals and instead chose to cease treatment and do hospice care at home. That meant she would pass in her own bed surrounded by family without needles and monitors all over her arms.
As with all major decisions, this one was made by the entire family, with Amanda and Natalie both participating.
She passed 55 hours after going into hospice care. Ted walked in around 5:30 that evening and asked her if she wanted to go into the living room or sit outside and she declined.
“It was so rare when she wasn’t feeling pain,” Ted said. "So we thought it best to let her rest where she was."
Shortly thereafter, she passed on.
"She's been sick so long that I thought, just the finality of it, to say, OK, she's at peace now, would make things easier," Ted said. "But it's been harder.
"I guess grieving doesn't really start until your loved one is literally gone."
Ted said he admired her gusto for life, right up until her final days.
"The night before (she passed on), she had a burger and a margarita," Ted said.
Ted jumps right back into things this week. He hosts the Barry M. Kornblau Endowed Scholarship Luncheon Monday at noon at the Big Blue Room in Chartway Arena and then is behind the mic for two baseball games and the spring football game on Saturday.
Don’t be surprised if the usually stoic Ted Alexander sheds a tear or two. He cried unashamedly during our 45-minute interview last week. He loved his wife and isn’t afraid to say so.
“It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever been through,” he said. “At times I would tell myself how hard this has been on me, that it’s emotionally nerve wracking. But then I would think, ‘Jesus, what am I bitching about? She’s the one who’s been so strong.’
“Thank goodness she got 15 more years after she was first diagnosed. If she had passed when she first got it, it would have been a much more difficult road, tougher on my daughters, tougher on me.
“For the longest time I didn’t realize the weight they were carrying for 15 years. When the phone would ring or a text would come, would it be the horrible news? They were able to hang in there and be strong like their Mom and they’re going to get through this and be better for it.”
When you’ve lost the love of your life, the grieving process is almost always long and arduous.
“The grief, the memories, the joy, the anxiety, comes at you in waves. And right now the grief waves are fairly substantial. I hope they lessen in time and the fond memories become more frequent than the grief,” he said.
“But it’s good to be back here at ODU. Getting back into what I do will be fun. I’ve missed it. And coming back to a campus like ODU, it always invigorates you. Getting back to the life on campus and the games are both going to be fun.
“I owe it to Laurie and my children and everybody I know to just be the best I can be now and continue living my life. The nice thing is that Laurie knew I loved this gig.”
On one evening they watched a documentary on the great radio and TV broadcasters in the SEC.
“Her comment to me after that was, ‘You know, you could do this forever.’ I smiled when she said that.
“She saw through the years of my career that I enjoy doing this so much. And it makes me feel good to know she wanted me to continue.
“I was heartened by that and the fact that she knew I have a community here at ODU to come back to, and that I wouldn’t be on my own.”
He’s clearly been missed. Fans, donors and alumni have asked about Ted repeatedly in the last three months.
“The community’s love for Ted has been evident throughout this difficult season, with so many who have expressed concern for Ted and his family,” Jones said.
“We are grateful to the individuals who have generously given of their time and talent to allow Ted to be fully present with his family.”
Matt Hatfield, Jack Fitzpatrick, Scott Jackson and Mashaw filled in on basketball and Josh Carey did some baseball broadcasts in Ted’s absence.
“It’s equally as important to both ODU and for Ted for him to get back,” Dr. Selig said. “It means the world to both of us. When Ted emcees an event or calls a game, you get a level of enthusiasm you generally do not get from others. He really knows how to elevate an event or elevate a broadcast. He’s always so well prepared. He’s so quick on his feet.
“We’ve truly missed him.
“Our hearts go out to Ted and his family with their loss of Laurie. She’s been around the program for years and she will be missed. We really feel for Ted and his entire family.
“And we’re so glad he’s back.”
Minium is ODU’s senior executive writer. Contact him at hminium@odu.edu or follow him on Twitter, Facebook or Instagram