By Harry Minium
NORFOLK, Va. -- Kayim Jamison never knew his father. He met him a few times, but never really had a conversation with the man who didn't want to be a part of his life.
That hurt, but it was OK with Kayim because he had an awesome mom, Evelyn Porter, a nursing assistant, who focused most of her time and energy on her son. They struggled at times financially but had an otherwise happy life in their small Brooklyn, New York apartment.
Then, 13 years ago, his life turned upside down. She had an aortic aneurysm and needed immediate surgery. She hugged and kissed him just before surgery, and said, "I love you."
"I was thinking to myself, 'she's going to make it,'" Kayim said. "She's such a strong person. She'll be out in a couple of days."
But later that day, he learned his mother had died in surgery. She was just 37.
Kayim was 11 and didn't really understand the finality of death. He was confused and in shock and wasn't sure what to do or where to go.
He felt so alone in the world, and the truth is, he was.
For the next seven years, he bounced around between relatives from Brooklyn to Florida, where he graduated from high school. After picking up his sheepskin, he was nudged out the door and told he was on his own.
KJ Jamison's mom, Evelyn Porter
Honestly, he's felt like he's been on his own since his mother died. He never felt like he had a family that cared about him.
Not until he met Old Dominion football player Stone Smartt.
KJ, as he is known around ODU, has been a student assistant for the football team since 2019. He and Smartt worked together and quickly became friends. When Stone shared KJ's story with his family, there was only one thing to do – invite him to spend the holidays with them.
The Smartts flew KJ to their home in Sacramento, California for Thanksgiving in November of 2020. While there, he rode a horse, got outfitted with a box of new clothes, got an Apple Watch and a ton of love.
"I'd never been to California and it's such an awesome place," he said. "I felt like I was at home there."
Earlier this week,KJ boarded a flight from Norfolk headed to Sacramento, where he is spending the Christmas vacation with his new family. And make no mistake, this is his family.
He calls Sean Smartt, Stone's father, "Pops." Pam Smartt is simply known as "Mom."
Before last Thanksgiving, holidays were depressing for KJ. He would call his uncle, grab a meal and watch TV. No celebrations. No gift exchanges. Christmas was little different than Labor Day. Just another day off.
"Since last year, the Smartts have been my anchor," KJ said."They've changed my life."
And KJ has also changed Stone's life.
"I've been an only child all my life," he said. "I never had a brother and KJ fits in so well with everyone here. It's like he's always been a part of our family.
"KJ is the brother I never had."
KJ is a stoic young man. He has a seductive smile and a wonderful disposition and at 6-foot-8, stands out in a crowd.
He speaks softly and politely – yes sir and no sir are a part of his everyday vernacular – and whether he's walking through the Webb Student Center or L.R. Hill Sports Complex, he always draws a crowd.
"Everyone on campus knows KJ," said Wendell Mitchem, ODU's video coordinator. "Everyone loves him."
When the ODU football coaching staff needed a babysitter in a hurry while at the Myrtle Beach Bowl earlier this week, they called on KJ. He took care of six kids, some younger than two, while coaches and wives went to a hastily-scheduled bowl reception.
The kids didn't want KJ to leave when their parents returned.
"He was absolutely awesome with the kids," defensive coordinator Blake Seiler said. "He's such a nice kid. You're kind of drawn to him."
Mitchem said "that's because of how he carries himself. He's always laughing and joking around.
"He rarely gets upset. There's something about KJ that makes you smile every time you see him."
That's remarkable considering what KJ has been through.
He was never counseled by relatives about college or much about life after high school. He felt more like a tenant than a family member, he said.
"My friends all had stability in their lives," he said. "They all had stable families and I didn't.
"I was fortunate enough to take the bumps and bruises and do things on my own."
He learned about college, and college scholarships, from friends and teachers. He was a Michigan basketball fan and from watching the Wolverines and talking to high school basketball teammates, he realized a basketball scholarship might be possible.
KJ with Stone Smartt's niece, Isabella
But his coach didn't do a lot to promote his players with college coaches, KJ said.
As he approached his senior year, he thought about what his mother would want him to do, and he knew she would want him to go to college. He researched financial aid and began applying for scholarships, grants and loans.
He enrolled briefly at Santa Fe College in Gainesville, Florida, then transferred to St. Augustine's University, a Historically Black College in Raleigh, North Carolina.
It was while he was at St. Augustine's that he determined his career path. He was intrigued with physical fitness and diet and wanted to major in exercise science.
St. Augustine's didn't have the program he needed, but ODU did, so he applied and enrolled in the fall of 2019.
KJ has boundless energy and in spite of carrying a full-time load at school and a part-time job, he approached then ODU quarterbacks coach Ron Whitcomb, and asked if he could do anything to help the program.
"I'm not somebody who wants to sit around in my room," he said. "I want to be around people. I wanted to stay around sports."
Whitcomb hired him as a student assistant. That's when he met Smartt, then an ODU quarterback and a recent junior college transfer.
"We hit it off right away," Stone said. "He would go out on the field with me and help me warm up. He's such a selfless guy. He helped make my transition here a lot easier."
KJ worked with Whitcomb through the tumultuous 2019 season, when the Monarchs went 1-11, a record that resulted in a coaching changeover. KJ was out of a job when Whitcomb left but Mitchem was impressed with his work ethic asked him to come to work for him.
KJ quickly moved up to the No. 2 spot on the video crew by learning how to operate complicated software, compile video for coaches and quickly export it.
"He picked it up really fast," Mitchem said. "He's smart and he works hard."
His skills came in handy at the Myrtle Beach Bowl. Mitchem was sick with a viral infection and was forced to remain in Norfolk.
KJ took his place and led a crew of several student videographers.
"I had to make sure every coach had film, that every laptop was good, that every computer was good and every room was set up," he said.
There were some glitches early on, but by the weekend, the only calls Mitchem was getting from Myrtle Beach were from KJ.
"He kept calling me to check in on me and see how I was doing," Mitchem said. "That's KJ. He's such a good kid.
KJ says he cried every day for months after his mom died, but said as he got older, he purposefully forced himself not to lose his composure. He knew his mom would not want him to be sad.
He doesn't tell his life story to many people – Mitchem did not know a lot of details of what KJ's been through even though they go to lunch together almost every day.
"KJ is a very private person," Mitchem said. "And I didn't want to pry."
Reporters do pry and during an hour long interview in Myrtle Beach, KJ opened up to me. He mostly smiled when talking about his mother and his struggles. He lost his composure only once. He wept when I asked him about the Smartt family.
"Their house, it's lovely," he said. "Being there, I know I'm with people who care about me.
"It's hard living life when you feel like people don't care about you. The Smartts, they actually care about me and want to see me do good in life."
He paused for a minute, dried his eyes and then that familiar KJ smile was soon back.
As for his father, he said "it was his decision and he has to live with it." As this point in life, he said, he wants nothing to do with the man who declined the precious responsibility of being his dad.
"I can't imagine what life has been like for him," Pam Smartt said. "Imagine if you didn't have anybody who cared about you? Well, we care a lot about him. As far as I'm concerned, he's family."
He's certainly been treated like family. Last Thanksgiving the Smartts took him to the ranch owned by Robert and Monica Ramos. Their son, Carson, is a defensive tackle at ODU.
Provost Austin Agho with KJ Jamison and Athletic Director Wood Selig
"We put KJ on a horse but the poor horse was so scared of KJ," Pam Smartt said.
"The horse was scared," KJ added, "because I was scared."
She said Sean, her husband, quickly took to KJ. They often talk by phone.
"Whenever I need advice, I call Pops," KJ said.
Pam's five sisters adore KJ and he calls them his "Aunties."
"It's amazing KJ has done so well basically on his own for so long," Pam said. "We're doing all the things for KJ that we're doing for Stone, the things you do to prepare your kids for life on their own. Start to build a credit score, get a passport, a banking account online.
"I've told him anytime he's depressed, when he needs to call a friend, call us."
Whenever KJ leaves the house, Pam says, "I love you."
On Sunday, Dec. 19, the day before ODU met Tulsa in the Myrtle Beach Bowl, Stone and KJ took part in an ceremony that rarely occurs in a hotel. Surrounded by teammates, family and coaches, they donned caps and gowns, along with 13 members of the football team, and gathered in a meeting room at the Marriott Myrtle Beach Spa and Resort at Grand Dunes.
The team had missed ODU's graduation ceremony the previous day at Chartway Arena because they were practicing in Myrtle Beach.
Coach Ricky Rahne decided his seniors needed a graduation ceremony, one that Augustine O. Agho, ODU's provost and vice president for academic affairs, volunteered to officiate.
Stone earned a bachelor's degree in finance and KJ a degree in exercise science. When families filed out of the room to take photographs outside on the beach, KJ was with the Smartts. Two other Sacramento natives also graduated – Will Brocchini got his communication degree and Ramos a degree in business management.
They all traveled together from Norfolk to Sacramento, including Pam and Monica Ramos, and will spend time together next week.
KJ returns to ODU in early January, when the football team also returns for winter workouts. He will remain at ODU for a semester, take some graduate classes and work through spring practice.
He will then start looking for a job.
His dream is to open his own health facility where he would train potential NFL players in how to exercise and eat to prepare for the draft.
Mitchem said if that doesn't work out, he can find employment as a video coordinator.
"He had so much on him in Myrtle Beach and really came through," Mitchem said.
"This is something he could do for a living. He knows just about everything about video."
Regardless of what path he chooses, he says any success he has will be because of his mom.
"I wanted to do my very best in life to honor my mother," he said. "That's the reason I went to college and that's my reason for doing good things in life.
"She was such a good person and a great mother to me.
"The passion I have to do good things, it all came from her."
She would be so proud of her son.
Minium worked 39 years at The Virginian-Pilot before coming to ODU in 2018. He covers all ODU athletic teams for odusports.com Follow him on Twitter @Harry_MiniumODU, Instagram @hbminium1 or email hminium@odu.edu